hello!

i hope everyone had a super sweet new year's
i partied it up at pyramid rock festival with my besties yayyy, and we went a bit crazy. it was fantastic. we're facing the new year with optimism, strength and determination! 2010, we're gonna pwn you, bitch!

these are some of my new year's resolutions (i am writing them here so that i can reference them, but if they're useful to anyone else, that's awesome):
~ start going to church more, if not every week then at least twice a month.
~ have exciting new adventures and do things that i haven't done before.
~ grow my hair -> get less haircuts.
~ save up some $$ for possible travel in 2011.
~ read more classic books.
~ buy less food when out. save $$ and eat at home -> cook more.
~ meet new fun people to hang out with. yes. expand friendship circles.
~ get closer to fulfilling my creative potential. figure out what other disciplines i want to study after my sculpture course ends next year.
~ not kiss anyone i am not in a relationship with. and i will finish learning to be completely reliant on myself and to lose the internal conditioning that i need him.
~ think less about the past.
~ volunteer for something.
~ become emotionally stronger, and not let what's happened continue to affect me in a negative way.
~ attempt to be less anxious and stop feeling stressed out about little things (and about everything).
~ expect nothing, and be okay with whatever 2010 throws at me.

happy new year my dears, may it be full of happiness and fulfillment for you! <3

~twitter

all is calm, all is bright! ~

i've been thinking a lot lately. about this year, and what i've been through, and what's come out of it all. i'm happy that i'm in a much healthier place in my head now, compared to january. i feel proud that i've got to this point where i'm so much more okay.

this year is a difficult one for me to catorgorise. in a lot of ways, it has been the worst year of my life, because of the people i have lost in different ways, and the overpowering grief that comes with each loss or betrayl.

but in so many other ways, this year has been incredible, and possibly the best of my life. discovering i am okay by myself, buying a car, moving out of home, spending more time with the people i love who actually love me, going on an insane roadtrip to newcastle, finally getting my ear cartlidge pierced... and so many other things.

and you know what? it's only going to get better.

merry christmas everyone !

love from amyy xoxx

~twitter

discarding newspapers / transporting the organic / aching / the calm sky overpowers clutter / the most loved, left / slipping in and out of usual consciousness / slow recovery / not being listened to / mind shutdown, overwhelmed / wisdom removed / irreplaceable loss, reconsidering choices of love / sleeping / pushed away & forgotten / sheltering at the home of childhood / continually dealing with the past / relentless reminders / custard cups / fading sunlight, bright / and words words words
in the end
it’s only words.

bon iver / boy & bear / scott matthews / andrew bird / crayon fields / the xx

~twitter

it's been a week full of craziness, including
/// moving out of my house / attempting to construct a new home / avoiding uni work / heart flutterings / torrents of people visiting / cleaning cleaning cleaning / best friend now housemate and sister / possible mistakes / miserable silence, and confrontation / sorted? / no internet / watching trueblood / washing dishes / putting up fairy lights / happiness followed by inevitable guilt / walking and exploring / food shopping / overwhelming life.

& have been listening to
/// passion pit / wilco / electric jazz lounge / the shins / vampire weekend / jamie t / elliot smith.

~twitter

it's been strange, this last little month or two. been floating along, feeling a bit sad in general. and then last week was my birthday, and that was a lovely week of fun and my beautiful friends and such. and now it seems i'm in a bit of a blank lull, with the expectation of stress and panic, as my sculptures are due next week, and i'm not finished, of course. i have one last transformation to enact, as well as the documentation to create (which, i have a lovely idea about).

so, it's a bit strange, really, this mix of emotions lately. but i'm usually fairly mixed in my emotions this year, ha. conflicting.

sometimes i wonder if he's okay, and worry. and then i remember, i'm not supposed to care anymore. so i push the thoughts away, and try to replace them. but they're always there. on the edge. in the middle. everywhere.

but i'm okay, mostly. floating along.

~twitter